15 September 2013

Slow Burn

Slow Burn 1986
  • Director: Matthew Chapman
  • Based on book: No
  • Cast: Johnny Depp, Eric Roberts, Beverly D’Angelo, Dennis Lipscombe, Raymond J. Barry, Anne Schedeen,  Emily Longstreth, Henry Gibson, Dan Hedaya
  • Personal “oh yeah him/her” reaction, i.e. have seen this actor/actress in:
    • Johnny Depp  Nightmare on Elm Street, Platoon, Cry Baby, Edward Scissorhands, Arizona Dream, Benny and Joon, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Ed Wood, Don Juan DeMarco, Dead Man, Nick of Time, Donnie Brasco, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Ninth Gate, The Astronaut’s Wife, Sleepy Hollow, The Man Who Cried, Chocolat, Blow, From Hell, Lost in La Mancha, Pirates of the Caribbean (all four of them), Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Secret Window, Finding Neverland, Libertine, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Public Enemies, Alice in Wonderland, The Tourist
    • Eric Roberts – The Dark Knight, Sensation
    • Beverly D’Angelo  – American History X, Edie & Pen, Christmas Vacation, European Vacation, Hair
    • Dennis Lipscombe – Roswell, Crossroads
    • Raymond J. Barry – Little Children, Dead Man Walking, Born on the Fourth of July, Insignificance, An Unmarried Woman
    • Anne Schedeen  – ALF and other TV series
    • Emily Longstreth – Pretty in Pink
    • Henry Gibson – Laugh In
    • Dan Hedaya – Alien Resurrection, A Life Less Ordinary, The First Wives Club, Clueless, The Usual Suspects, Benny and Joon, Joe and the Volcano, Hill Street Blues
  • Why? Johnny Depp. Third movie of JD marathon.
  • Seen: Twice. First time May 2011.  Now: September 14, 2013

      Even Johnny Depp can’t save this loser.  He’s still playing a cute teenager and there are enough close-ups to see it’s him but it’s just as well that his character is killed off in the first half of the film. Oh yeah. Spoiler warning. Sorry. But never mind.  You don’t have to see this one anyway.
It’s called a thriller but it’s just boring.  The film noir attempt is embarrassing. The story is uninteresting and the characters are irritating. Down on his luck Roberts is hired by trendy artist Barry to find his son (not Depp as it turns out) in Palm Springs. The mother (D’Angelo) is now married to a filthy rich whatever (Heyada).  Drugs, teen pregnancy, kidnapping, macho man with a bruised tender heart comes to the rescue. Well, not really. Sexy vamp villain…The clichés stumble all over each other.
Poor Johnny. It’s good to know that after this TV movie he has never since been in anything without merit. I don’t suppose he, or any of the rest of the cast, actually lists this one in their résumés when auditioning for new parts. They must hope that nobody has noticed.  They all deserve better movies and fortunately they all got some.
Because Johnny Depp is in it and actually does OK in his small role:

½  * of 5

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